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Archive for the ‘Halloween’ Category

I vant to vish you a Happy Halloveen!
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Avon is having free s & h on any order, today only, with code GHOULSAVON – Home  If youwear any of their scents (I don’t, but might try), gift sets on sale for great prices.
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My daughter loves a French Press.  This one looks like a bargain to me.  Unbreakable and dishwasher safe, for $12.99 (+ s & h)
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My friend, Evil Betsy, sent me these for Halloween.  Those who know me, know my other screen name is Une Vampyr, and these just warmed my heart.  Enjoy!

The Wittiest Halloween Jokes, Riddles, and Puns

We fear vampires, and vampires fear . . . tooth decay (!).
What happened to the guy who couldn’t keep up payments to his exorcist? He got repossessed.

What is a vampire’s favorite holiday? Fangsgiving.

What is a vampire’s favorite sport? Casketball.
What kind of streets do zombies like the best? Dead ends.
Who did Frankenstein take to the prom? His ghoul friend.
Why did the skeleton cross the road? To go to the body shop.
When does a skeleton laugh? When something tickles his funny bone.
What did the skeleton say to the bartender? I’ll have two beers and a mop. [This is one of my very favorites—such a considerate skeleton!]
Where does Count Dracula usually eat his lunch? At the casketeria.
Who does Dracula get letters from? His fang club.
What has webbed feet, feathers, fangs and goes quack-quack? Count Duckula.What do you call two spiders that just got married? Newlywebbed.
What do Italians eat on Halloween? Fettucinni Afraid-o.
What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire? It’s a pain in the neck.
How does a ghost say goodbye to a vampire? So long, sucker!
What do you call a witch’s garage? A broom closet.
What do you give to a pumpkin trying to quit smoking? A pumpkin patch. [A toast to Linus here, please.]
How do monsters tell their future? They read their horrorscope.
How are vampires like false teeth? They both come out at night.
What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit? A necktarine
What is a vampire’s favorite ice cream flavor? Veinilla.
What did the three vampires order at the bar? Two bloods and a blood light. [!!]
Why did the vampire go to the orthodontist? To improve his bite.
Who are some of the werewolves cousins? The whatwolves, the whowolves, and the whenwolves. [This is a no-brainer, right?!]
Why are most monsters covered in wrinkles? Have you ever tried to iron a monster?
Why do mummies have so much trouble keeping friends? They’re too wrapped up in themselves.
Why don’t mummies take vacations? They’re afraid they’ll relax and unwind.
[On the other hand] Where do mummies go for a swim? The dead sea.
Why do mummies make excellent spies? They’re good at keeping things under wraps.
Why did the ghost go into the bar? For the Boos.
Why do ghosts like to ride elevators? It raises their spirits.
What’s the favorite game at ghosts’ birthday parties? Hide and Shriek.
Why did the game warden arrest the ghost? He didn’t have a haunting license. [I assume the game warden must have been a ghost himself!]
What kind of monster is safe to put in a washing machine? A wash and wear wolf.
What do you get when you cross a black cat with a lemon. A sour-puss.
What do you get when you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter? Pumpkin Pi.
What do skeletons say before they begin dining? Bone appetit!
What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog? He is mist.
Why don’t angry witches ride their brooms? They’re afraid of flying off the handle.
Who won the skeleton beauty contest? No body.

Where do baby ghosts go during the day? Dayscare centers.

And lastly,
What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house? [really, think about this one verycarefully] . . . Hope that it’s Halloween (!!!).
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I kinow most people say “Feh” to screen savers, but I usually download seasonal ones and delete when I add a new seasonal one.  This Halloween one is 3-D and pretty neat.

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