What do Italians eat on Halloween? Fettucinni Afraid-o.
What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire? It’s a pain in the neck.
How does a ghost say goodbye to a vampire? So long, sucker!
What do you call a witch’s garage? A broom closet.
What do you give to a pumpkin trying to quit smoking
? A pumpkin patch. [A toast to Linus here, please.]
How do monsters tell their future? They read their horrorscope.
How are vampires like false teeth? They both come out at night.
What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit? A necktarine
What is a vampire’s favorite ice cream flavor? Veinilla.
What did the three vampires order at the bar? Two bloods and a blood light. [!!]
Why did the vampire go to the orthodontist? To improve his bite.
Who are some of the werewolves cousins? The whatwolves, the whowolves, and the whenwolves. [This is a no-brainer, right?!]
Why are most monsters covered in wrinkles? Have you ever tried to iron a monster?
Why do mummies have so much trouble keeping friends? They’re too wrapped up in themselves.
Why don’t mummies take vacations? They’re afraid they’ll relax and unwind.
[On the other hand] Where do mummies go for a swim? The dead sea.
Why do mummies make excellent spies? They’re good at keeping things under wraps.
Why did the ghost go into the bar? For the Boos.
Why do ghosts like to ride elevators? It raises their spirits.
What’s the favorite game at ghosts’ birthday parties? Hide and Shriek.
Why did the game warden arrest the ghost? He didn’t have a haunting license. [I assume the game warden must have been a ghost himself!]
What kind of monster is safe to put in a washing machine? A wash and wear wolf.
What do you get when you cross a black cat with a lemon. A sour-puss.
What do you get when you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter? Pumpkin Pi.
What do skeletons say before they begin dining? Bone appetit!
What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog? He is mist.
Why don’t angry witches ride their brooms? They’re afraid of flying off the handle.
Who won the skeleton beauty
contest? No body.
Where do baby ghosts go during the day? Dayscare centers.
What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house? [really, think about this one verycarefully] . . . Hope that it’s Halloween (!!!).
I kinow most people say “Feh” to screen savers, but I usually download seasonal ones and delete when I add a new seasonal one. This Halloween one is 3-D and pretty neat.